Gut Connection

Ever since I was a child, I've had problems with my gut. Digestive issues. Pain. Discomfort. Bloating. Vomiting. It really came to a head these past few years when it got so bad that I would sometimes go for days without eating. My gut was so inflamed that I had no desire to eat. My gut was irritated by almost everything I ate, and sometimes my digestion would stop altogether. You could literally feel the lumps of food sitting stagnant in my stomach and intestines. It was such an uncomfortable feeling.

A few months ago, I got sent to the ER by my primary care doctor because I hadn't been able to eat for 4 days straight. That was my wake up call, and I started to pay closer attention to my diet and actually start listening to my body's signals of what was making it sick. I knew that wheat products were a huge part of the problem, but it was so hard to give up the foods I love most-- pasta, bread, and noodles. I’ve had such an emotional connection with them all my life. Still, I knew I had to make a change and decided to quit eating wheat cold turkey. I slowly started to heal the tears of inflammation. It truly changed my life because I now have the energy to focus on the things I love rather than on feeling sick. Now, it is so easy to notice when something I eat doesn't agree with me, AND it is so much easier not to eat the offending food anymore because I now know how it feels to be free of the pain and discomfort and want to stay that way.

Now, my journey has reached a deeper level in which I am becoming aware of the ways I treat my gut on an emotional and energetic level. I realized that when I am in a stressful situation, or when I am feeling guilt, regret, or shame, I store it in my gut energetically. I've been doing it from when I was a little girl to this day. You know those mortifying moments from childhood or your teenage years? Like when you feel embarrassed or ashamed and want to hide in a hole? Yup, I got into the habit of storing all those heavy emotions in my gut. It's simply a way I learned how to cope when I felt helpless, like maybe if I absorbed all the emotions, they would go away. It created a very heavy/uncomfortable/anxious feeling in my gut area that just wouldn't go away, which I then immediately tried to disconnect from by cutting off awareness to that area. You can imagine how toxic this habit can become long term.

Now that I am much more aware of the energetic interplay between my emotions and my physical body, I am learning how to reconnect with my gut and breathe through negative emotions. I am becoming aware of when it becomes tense, and then using gentle attention like patting or massaging the area to soothe it away, rather than disconnecting from it. I send my breath down to my belly and give myself reassurance that everything is ok, that I am loved, and that I am safe. It's still a work in progress, but I am starting to see the possibility of a completely healthy connection with my gut on all levels, which is super exciting!